


The Choices We Make

by fandomimaginesforall



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-25 00:01:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16650412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomimaginesforall/pseuds/fandomimaginesforall
Summary: There’s a fine line between bravery and stupidity.





	The Choices We Make

The halls of the Resistance base thrummed with noise. It had been a successful day and it seemed the whole base was celebrating, especially the X-Wing pilots, who were always the life of the party. Usually.

You looked around at your friends, all happy and full of life, relieved just to have survived another day. The drink in your hand was lukewarm from the heat of the makeshift bar in the hangar and the music was outrageously loud, but you couldn’t remember the last time you’d been so happy. But then you realised you were one short.

Poe. He’d somehow slipped away. You knew you should’ve noticed sooner but you’d had a few too many drinks already and your friends had started up a rowdy game of Sabacc at your table. By the time you realised you’d got distracted, several hours had passed.

You looked around the hanger, trying to spot that familiar, handsome face amongst the crowds, but he wasn’t here. You asked a few of your friends if they’d seen Poe but they hadn’t for a while, then you asked some of his pals and one of them was able to tell you that he’d seen their captain around his ship.

You wandered across the dark hangar, drink in hand, heading in the direction of the X-Wings lined up in neat rows. Your footsteps barely made any sound as you crossed the enormous room, the racket from the party still raging behind you drowning them out. You placed your hand on the flank of the first ship, Poe’s X-Wing, and smoothed your palm across the still cooling metal as you rounded the ship.

You found a pair of legs sticking out from under the fighter. He was still wearing his orange flight suit. You watched Poe work for a moment, wondering if he knew you were there. You could hear a wrench twisting against metal and the occasional spark flying, but that was all. Strange, usually Poe hummed to himself as he worked, soft, lilting songs that he probably didn’t even know he was vocalising.

You stepped closer, then gently toed the sole of his boot. “Hey, why don't you come have a drink with us?" You spoke softly, not wanting to make him jump and bang his head on the underside of the ship.

“I'm good, thanks."

His voice was muffled but you could still sense an edge to it. Perhaps you were just hearing things. You crouched down and gently tugged on the dolly board he rested on. You didn’t wheel him out from under the ship completely but he moved just enough so that you could meet his gaze.

“You sure? Jess’ hustling Sabacc again, that’s always worth a watch.”

Poe wrinkled his nose, his jaw set. “I’ve got to fix this,” he said quietly, then pulled himself back under the X-Wing.

You stared at him, your brow furrowed. You’d never seen him like this. Poe could have a temper sometimes, you both could, but whatever problems you had, you could usually talk it out and the issue was often forgotten by the time you went to bed. This was different. He was holding back, keeping something from you.

You wrapped your fingers around the edge of the dolly board again and pulled it towards you. You heard Poe sigh, and when he reappeared from under the ship, you saw that his eyes were stern. "What's up with you then?”

"Nothing."

"Look, Poe-"

"It doesn't matter,” he said, cutting you off. 

You closed your mouth and looked down at the floor. It wasn't often you showed defeat so easily but you knew what this was about. The mission had been a success, yes, but that didn’t mean it was easy. A whole fleet of TIE Fighters had chased your friends across the stars, until you pulled a tricky and frankly stupid manoeuvre that meant you were flying right behind them, on your own.

Poe had yelled at you to get back into the formation but you know this was your only chance. Soon enough, the TIE Fighters scattered and you were all able to escape relatively unscathed, but you’d put yourself in serious danger and Poe had hardly said a word to you since you got back.

He sighed again and stood up, wiping his hands on an oily rag. He looked like he wanted to say something, his jaw tensed, but then he began to turn away.

“I'll leave you guys to it. Goodnight, Y/N,” he said quietly. Your head shot up and Poe frowned. You were looking at him like he'd suddenly grown another head. "What?"

"You called me by my name.”

You had this look on your face, somewhere between pain and amusement, and Poe couldn’t understand what it meant. "And?" He watched as your smile slipped and you looked down at your feet again.

"Usually you fight tooth and nail to call me some ridiculous nickname,” you mumbled, sticking your free hand in your pocket just to give you something to do. 

Poe had called you every nickname under the sun when you first started dating, mostly just to tease you in front of the others. That was until you started doing it back. It became a sort of contest, to see who could embarrass the other more. Some of them had stuck, now it was strange to hear him say your real name.

Poe scoffed. “Yeah, well, maybe I'm done fighting you, okay?"

He started to walk away again but you couldn’t let him go. You’d been through too much together to leave it like this. "Poe, what's wrong?"

He wheeled around, suddenly furious. "You! You and your damn heroics earlier."

His words echoed through the empty hangar. You worried that the others might hear it but you were angry now too. “I was only out of your sight for two minutes. Maker, were you  _that_ worried about me?"

"Yes!" 

Silence fell between you, uncomfortable and heavy. You were so surprised by his outburst, for a moment, you forgot how to speak. 

Poe shook his head. "Look, I know you're good at what you do. I know you can look after yourself. But you've got to remember that it's not just you anymore. You've got a whole team of people who care about you and who are gonna be worried if you..."

You watched his shoulders sink, all the fight suddenly leaving him. Without his anger and determination, he looked so frightened. You'd never seen him like this before, not even after the most terrifying of missions. All that ferocity that had earned him his rank had dissipated and Poe was so, so tired. 

"Look, I'm not angry at you, sweetheart. There's no need to look so..." Poe sighed and took a step towards you. He reached out and took your hand, smoothing his thumb across your palm, apologising without words. "Just, please, the next time you feel like running off into the fray, warn me."

You smiled, feeling you heavy heart begin to lift again. "You called me ‘sweetheart’."

Poe held your gaze for a moment, then he began to smile too. "That I did."

"Does that mean you've forgiven me?"

"There's nothing to forgive." 

Poe gently pulled you against him, wrapping his arms around your middle and holding you tight. You felt his hand rest against the middle of your back, his thumb smoothing across your spine, and allowed yourself to relax into him, your body against Poe’s. You were vaguely aware of a few of your friends whistling at your from across the hangar but you were too happy to care. 

“I was alone,” Poe murmured into your hair. “For a very long time. And you…” 

He trailed off but he didn’t need to say anything more, you understood. You turned your forehead against his shoulder, then, overwhelmed by the sudden wave of emotions careening through you, you turned your head and buried your face into the crook of his neck, breathing him in. You had both almost lost your lives, you felt relief, fear, sadness, and most of all, you could feel Poe’s heart beating, and knew he was feeling exactly what you were. 

“I know,” you whispered, leaning back just far enough to meet his gaze. He was smiling, not quite his usual tantalising grin, but it was enough. You reached up and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek, then the corner of his mouth, teasing, lingering, a promise. "Are you sure you don't want to come over?" You tilted your head, beginning to smile a little wider. "We've got Corellian whiskey."

Poe chuckled, pulling you closer against him. "Oh, darlin’, you always know just what to say.”


End file.
